I’m starting to feel like the more I move forward in life the less I end up understanding. Seriously how did bullying become such a problem? I know that it has always been around, but lately this seems to be something different. Our kids aren’t going to school any more with bully’s but pint sized sociopaths.
Now I am no means talking as the cool kid who bully’s left alone. In school I was the preferred target. I was a scrawny, geek with little to no friends because I was always the new kid. It was easy for the bully to separate me from the crowd because I wasn’t part of one yet. And because of my size they always thought I would be easy be taken advantage of. Especially if there was a few of them. These guys would do what ever they could to take advantage of me, name calling, taunting, spreading lies (or as we politely call them rumours), physical intimidation, and finally because they were cowards physical force. This created the most unpleasant part of my schooling.
But here is where the difference between my story and the ones I see today. I was not a victim. That word wasn’t even remotely used around me or what was happening. I was taught by my parents, and teachers that bullying was wrong and despicable and that only one thing puts a bully in their place and that is standing up to them. So I did, and most times I lost that fight, was ridiculed more, and they tried to make things worse. But I did not give in. I kept my ground. And eventually they all backed off either because they were really cowards, or because I wasn’t worth their efforts.
Now I’m not Mr. Awesome, this was really only done because I had support. To the point where when one bully didn’t like the idea of me standing up to him and let his fists do some talking, a teacher came yanked the bully off of me and dragged his butt into the principles office (Thank you for that Mrs. Whiteside). I don’t think kids are allowed to have this support any more. Teachers are so tied up by parents telling them what not to do under threat of job loss, that they can not do parts of their job. Parents are at a loss of what to do as well, you can only do so much with not being their, and unfortunately bullies can be every where now. We need to support these kids who are being separated and hunted down for their differences.
We also need to show our kids it is okay to take action. I have a son who will go to school in a few years. He will be taught to respect everyone. To have compassion on others and to as much as possible show grace. But he will also be taught when necessary to defend himself and others. I won’t send him to what is now a den of wolves without the expectation that one might bite. I expect him to be the bigger man, but I support him in the reality of actions that might have to be taken.
This is seriously a sick world we are coming into. Has anyone thought what happens when these bullies grow up. What happens when they have a spouse, or kids? When they enter the work force? Or become those who enforce the law? Or even teachers? Yes some will grow out of it. But honestly if we don’t change things we are going to go from an epidemic of bullies to an epidemic of women abusers, rapists, and child abusers.
THIS NEEDS TO STOP.
I don’t understand why this got out of control. But I do understand that it can not continue.
My prayers are with every child and teen that is being bullied. And know that there are people that support you.